Days of Thankfulness #20

On this day, I’m thankful for Snuggle Time. Every night we have a routine: homework, supper, baths/showers, snuggle time, then off to bed. We’ve had this type of routine for years. It’s a time we all look forward to every day. Snuggle time is when we all pile in our bed and watch T.V. together. We mostly end up talking or reading together. The kids like to pick a video on YouTube and we’ll watch and discuss what we’re watching. Sometimes one child will choose to read a book while the others take turns picking a video to watch. This time of the day is a true blessing to me. I love the fact that we all come together as a family and spend time with each other. Even if Jason is on TDY or deployment, we keep up this routine. Some nights this is when he is able to call or facetime with the kiddos before bed. Some nights I’ll have to console children as they’re missing their daddy. Some nights we all just lay there and watch videos or a show in silence. Snuggle time is an important time for us as a family.

I’m truly grateful to the Snuggle Time we have as a family. I feel it helps us stay connected and in tune with each other. Even on the bad days, Snuggle Time is the one time we know we can just relax and be together.

Days of Thankfulness #19

Today I’m thankful for a crowded bed. My husband and I have always been on the same page when it came to children in the bed. We both feel that as newborns they need to be in our room close to the bed in their bassinet when they first fall asleep for the night. If the child woke in the middle of the night then we’d bring them into our bed and I’d nurse them back to sleep and keep them in the bed with us. As they grow older and the need for nursing ends, we always put them in their own bed. If they wake up in the middle of the night, they were allowed to crawl into bed with us and sleep the rest of the night. We’ve never sent them back to their own bed, unless they were tossing and turning to the point of keeping us awake, then we’d walk them back to their bed and tuck them in.

When Jason goes in a TDY or deployment, the kiddos are more likely to crawl in to the bed with me during the night. Sure it gets crowded, but I love it. I love the fact that even at 9, 7, and 3 they feel secure enough to know that it’s OK to come to me or their dad to feel safe. During thunderstorms, sickness, or insecure times, both my husband and I know that at one point during the night, a child or 2 will be joining us. It’s truly a Blessing to us both knowing that our children feel loved and secure in our relationship as a family.

Days of Thankfulness #18

Yesterday and today the bigs' school had a Thanksgiving Feast. Parents were able to join their student at lunch and enjoy a turkey plate. I love events like this. The best part of the experience is seeing the happiness on the kid's face as they scan the room to find me. Sitting with them and talking about what their day has been like so far, them showing me their bands and vest that they made, and announcing to their friends that I'm their mom. It just warms my heart. I cherish the hugs and "I Love You"s once the event is over. I'm so grateful for these moments with them. I know how lucky I am to be able to take part in these events at their schools. I try to always be there for the parties, the art shows, programs, etc. I know not every parent is able to attend these events and that one day I will not be able go to them anymore. I'm so thankful that my children still want me to be a part of their experiences at school. I'm thankful that they aren't embarrassed to let the world know I'm their mom. I'm thankful for the pure joy and excitement on their face when they finally find me in a crowd of people, knowing that I,m there. I'm truly a very lucky and Blessed woman.

Days of Thankfulness #9

I’m grateful for my children. All 3 of them. They’ve all truly taught me what it means to have unconditional love, patience, and a fear that I’ve never felt before. Before having children of my own, I never truly knew what it meant to love a person so much that you’d give your life up without blinking. No questions asked, my life for theirs. I prayed for each of my children before they were growing in my body. The moment I knew they were on the way, I thanked God. I did everything in my power to make sure I was being healthy, so their little bodies could grow. My whole mindset changed. This is when my anxiety kicked in. I never really experienced anxiety until my first born was in my arms. I wasn’t just my life I was responsible for, I was now responsible for a tiny little human. This human is now going to depend on me for EVERYTHING! Sustaining their lives depended on me and my decisions. Am I going to be a good mom? Will my babies know just how much I love them? Would I make the right choices? What if I picked a toy or food that would hurt them? What if I didn’t see a car coming and we got hit? What if I looked away and couldn’t see or hear them if they needed help? Would I be able to protect them during the night if someone broke in? I can’t hear without my hearing aids, so nighttime was hard on me. I gladly endured ear aches and lost sleep due to not being able to take out my hearing aids in case they needed me during the night. My fear of bridges and water intensified due to all the what ifs. As they grew into school age, a whole new set of fears set in. How safe are they going to be? Would they be protected in danger? Are they going to be bullied? Are they going to be the bully? Did I prepare them enough for school? Will I be able to help them through the homework? Can I console them through the pains of growing up?

Through the 9 years of being on this parenting roller coaster, I’ve learned so much about myself. I learned just how much patience I can have when the no good, horrible, very bad days pop up. I learned just how much peace I can have when the feel the tiny little arms wrap around my leg and hearing, “I love you mommy.” I learned just how much it hurts to watch my heart walk off to school, knowing I wouldn’t be able to protect them from the hurt they may experience. I learned just how nothing else in the world matters when you’re sitting in the middle of the kitchen with a crying child in your lap because they miss their Mimi, Poppy, Aubree, or other family member. I learned just how frustrated angry you can be at a choice child makes. I learned that it’s OK to walk away for just a moment to cool down and come back to the situation. I learned that love is unconditional between a child and a parent when they continue to come to you and hug your neck, and tell you they love you, even when you had to discipline them just 10 minutes earlier. As a person I’ve grown. I’ve learned just how rewarding being a mother can be. I learned just how much I look forward to them returning home after letting them spread their wings a little bit. As much as I love to have them tucked up underneath me, even though they can make me crazy, rather than allow them to go out into the big ol’ world, I know I have to let them slowly assert their independence. I have to allow them to experience and learn from those experiences. I’ll be their safety net for their whole lives. I’ll allow them to fly, to learn, to grow as amazing people, but they’ll always know that as long as I draw breath on this Earth, I’ll be here to catch them and help them through it.

To my beautiful babies, I love you. You are my whole reason for being. You shine a light in my world. You taught me so much. Throughout all the good, the bad, the ugly I’ll always be here. I’ll be waiting and cherishing every hug, kiss, snuggle, and everything else you have to give me. No matter how bad things can get, I’ll be there to help you. I love you more than words can say.